She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
