It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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