Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize
