wanna go halves on a baby?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
