He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
