Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
