he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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