I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
