Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
