remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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