i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
