she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize