dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
honey bunches of taint.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
