I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
