Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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