need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
