we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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