it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
