You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
