im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
That was before I lit my hair on fire
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize