Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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