I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Can I color on your dick again?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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