I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
