Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
