There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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