Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
