Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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