your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
