How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i out mim tonsoeep
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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