How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
