so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
