Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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