I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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