When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
false alarm. still invincible.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
