apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
