i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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