a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
