so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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