did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
