What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
