Will you blow on my dice?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
