she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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