Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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