The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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