this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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