i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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