I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
