You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
