I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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