check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
