You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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