I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize