Don't make out with my wife yet
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There's always time for handjobs
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
