The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
