What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
