I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
