just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
