I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
