one two three fourrrrnication!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
