your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
